Is Asheville Actually Right for You?
Let's have an honest conversation about what it's really like to live here.
I'm Dylan. I moved here from Boston in 2019, traded my PhD for a real estate license, and somehow built a life I never expected. Here's what I wish someone had told me.
Are you wondering if Asheville's actually as gay-friendly as everyone says?
Want to know if you can afford to live here without selling a kidney?
Curious whether you'll miss big city life or finally exhale?
As someone who's lived in Boston (expensive, fast, concrete) and Gainesville (sprawling, hot, college town), I moved to Asheville in 2019 thinking I'd stay for a year, max. Just long enough to catch my breath after burning out in academia. I was looking for the college town elements I loved at UF, the walkability of Boston, but somewhere I could actually afford to live. I quickly learned that Asheville has a way of keeping you - not through convenience or career opportunities (lol), but through something harder to define and impossible to fake.
Before I moved, I wished someone had been brutally honest about what I was actually signing up for. Not the Instagram version with sunset mountain views and craft cocktails, but the real deal - including the parts that make you question your choices at 2am when nothing's open and you just want decent Chinese food.
So let's talk about it. All of it.
Your Biggest Questions, Answered Honestly
"Is it really that expensive now?"
Yes. Median home price is pushing $500K. That craft beer is $8. But good news - we're shifting to a buyer's market as of summer 2025. Prices are starting to stabilize. I still pay less for my mortgage here than I did for rent in Boston.
"Will I find my people?"
It took me about a year, but yes. Through volleyball, coffee shops, and just saying yes to invites. The gay community is tight-knit - everyone knows everyone. The community here is real, but you have to show up for it.
"Can I make a living there?"
Remote work is your friend. Local wages haven't caught up to cost of living. I know teachers driving Uber, artists with three jobs. But people make it work. The lifestyle trade-off is real.
"Is it actually progressive?"
Asheville is a blue dot in a red state. The city itself? Absolutely progressive. Drive 20 minutes out? Different story. But the bubble is real and protective. I hold my boyfriend's hand everywhere without issues.
Know Your Rights Before You Move
Asheville has local protections, but North Carolina state law is complicated. I've created a comprehensive guide covering everything from housing discrimination to healthcare access, employment rights, and how to file complaints if needed.
Read the Complete LGBTQ+ Rights GuideThree Things I Tell Every Client
Look, I'm a realtor - I want you to move here. But I also want you to thrive here. So let's talk honestly about what that takes.
The Unfiltered Truth About Living Here
What Nobody Tells You About the Move
I spent my first three months here wondering if I'd made a terrible mistake. Coming from Boston—where everything runs on time, stores stay open late, and you can get pad thai at 2am—Asheville felt impossibly small. The grocery store closed at 10pm. There was no late-night anything. The "traffic" people complained about was laughable.
But something shifted around month four. I stopped comparing everything to city life and started seeing what was actually here. I had conversations with strangers that turned into friendships. I discovered swimming holes that felt like private paradises. I realized I hadn't heard a car alarm in months.
The Economics Nobody Wants to Discuss
Here's the hard truth: Asheville has San Francisco problems on Appalachian wages. The median household income is about $50K, but you need double that to comfortably afford a home. I know brilliant people with advanced degrees working service jobs because that's what pays here.
My real estate clients often arrive with remote jobs or retirement funds. The local economy runs on tourism, healthcare, and craft beer. If you're planning to find work here, have a backup plan. Or three.
"I left a six-figure consulting job in Boston to come here. Now I'm a real estate agent who writes on the side and teaches yoga. I make half what I used to, but I actually like my life now. That wasn't true before." - Me, explaining my choices to confused relatives
The Social Reality Check
Asheville operates on what I call "mountain time." Plans are suggestions. "Let's grab coffee sometime" might actually happen. People are genuinely friendly but also genuinely busy living their lives. Building a social circle takes intentional effort.
The dating pool is more like a dating puddle. Everyone has dated everyone. The running joke is you don't break up in Asheville, you just expand the friend group. If you're single and moving here, adjust your expectations accordingly.
You'll Probably Thrive Here If...
You're Ready to Trade Convenience for Quality of Life
I used to order Thai food at midnight, catch a 2am Uber, hit up 24-hour pharmacies. None of that exists here. Instead, I know the names of the farmers who grow my food. I swim in mountain rivers after work. I can see the stars from my backyard.
The trade-off is real. You'll plan grocery runs. You'll drive 20 minutes for decent sushi. But you'll also discover that slowing down isn't the worst thing that can happen to you.
You Want to Be Part of Building Something
Asheville is still becoming. Unlike established cities where everything's already figured out, there's room here to create, to contribute, to matter. I've watched friends open businesses, start nonprofits, create community spaces.
The flip side? Infrastructure is catching up. We just got our first dedicated bike lanes. Public transit is... aspirational. But if you want to help shape a place rather than just inhabit it, this is your chance.
You're Over the Hustle
Nobody moves to Asheville to climb the corporate ladder. We're all refugees from somewhere faster, harder, more demanding. My neighbor left Wall Street to make pottery. My barista has a PhD in philosophy.
Success gets redefined here. It's less about what you do and more about how you live. If that sounds like hippie nonsense to you, Asheville might not be your place. If it sounds like freedom, welcome home.
Nature Actually Calls to You
I was not an outdoor person. I owned one pair of sneakers and thought camping was staying at a hotel without room service. Five years later, I'm that person posting sunrise hiking photos and planning vacations around trail access.
The mountains change you. Even if you resist, you'll find yourself pulled outside. There's something about living this close to raw beauty that recalibrates what matters.
You Might Struggle Here If...
You Need Big City Diversity
Asheville is progressive but not particularly diverse. It's overwhelmingly white, increasingly wealthy, and culturally homogeneous in ways that can feel stifling. We talk a good game about inclusion, but look around most rooms—they look pretty similar.
Coming from Boston's diversity, this was jarring. There are efforts to change this, but progress is slow. If you need a truly multicultural environment, this might feel limiting.
Your Career is Everything
There's no climbing the ladder when there's barely a ladder to climb. Major industries here: healthcare, tourism, beer. That's... kind of it. Tech is growing but slowly. Finance barely exists. Academia is limited to UNCA and AB Tech.
I pivoted from academia to real estate because that's what made sense here. If you're deeply invested in a specific career path, research whether it even exists in Asheville. Spoiler: it might not.
You're Conflict-Averse About Politics
Living in a blue bubble in a red state means constant tension. State laws that make you furious. Neighbors with Trump flags. Family-friendly drag shows making national news because someone complained.
You can't ignore politics here. It affects daily life—from healthcare access to which businesses you support. If you prefer to stay apolitical, Asheville will exhaust you.
You Have Specific Cultural Needs
Want good Chinese food? Drive to Charlotte. Need a Jewish deli? Sorry. Looking for your cultural community? It might be you and three other people.
Asheville's food scene is great if you like farm-to-table American with a side of tacos. Beyond that? You'll be cooking at home or road-tripping to Atlanta.
Things That Caught Me Off Guard
The Tourists Are Actually Overwhelming
I thought people were exaggerating. They weren't. October is beautiful and completely insane. Downtown becomes Disneyland. Your favorite restaurant is booked solid. You'll learn to live like a local—shop Tuesday mornings, avoid Biltmore Village entirely.
Locals Are Leaving
The people who made Asheville cool are being priced out. Artists, musicians, service workers—they're moving to Hendersonville, Mars Hill, anywhere cheaper. The soul of the city is in flux, and newcomers (like me) are part of the problem.
Weather Isn't What You'd Expect
Four real seasons sounds romantic until you're dealing with ice storms, random 70-degree January days, and summer humidity that rivals Florida. The mountains create their own weather patterns. Always keep a jacket in your car.
You'll Get Political
I was never particularly political. Now I know my city council members by name, attend protests, and have opinions about zoning laws. When you live in a small city in a hostile state, civic engagement isn't optional.
The Poverty Is Real
Behind the brewery tours and boutique hotels, there's serious economic hardship. Generational poverty meets gentrification in uncomfortable ways. You can't unsee it once you live here.
Healthcare Is Complicated
Mission Hospital is now HCA-owned and it shows. Specialized care means trips to Charlotte or Atlanta. Mental health providers have waitlists. Plan accordingly.
What Daily Life Actually Looks Like
A Typical Weekday
6:30am: Wake up to actual birdsong, not sirens. Make coffee, check the mountain view to gauge weather.
7:30am: Quick trail run with the dog before the humidity hits. Pass the same five people who also discovered this schedule.
9:00am: Coffee shop "office." Everyone's laptop has a brewery sticker. Overhead conversations about chakras and real estate.
Noon: Lunch at the food truck because cooking in summer means heating up your house.
3:00pm: Client meetings, errands. Everything takes longer because you'll run into someone you know.
6:00pm: Volleyball league, trivia night, or just sitting on the porch watching fireflies.
9:00pm: Early to bed because sunrise hikes don't wait for night owls.
Weekend Rhythms
Saturdays: Farmers market is church. Everyone goes, everyone complains about parking, everyone buys too many tomatoes. Afternoon brewery hop or river float, depending on weather.
Sundays: Hiking early to beat crowds. Brunch somewhere tourists haven't discovered. Afternoon naps are sacred. Sunday evenings are for potlucks and processing the week.
Seasonal shifts: Summer is for river days and porch sitting. Fall is gorgeous and overwhelming. Winter is cozy and slightly isolating. Spring is hopeful and muddy.
Social life: Revolves around shared activities—hiking groups, book clubs, volunteer work. Dating apps show the same 50 people. House parties are better than the bar scene.
So, Is Asheville Right for You?
Only you can answer that. But if you've read this far, something's calling you here. Maybe it's the mountains. Maybe it's the promise of a different pace. Maybe it's just curiosity about what life could look like if you chose beauty over convenience.
My Advice?
Come visit. Not just for a long weekend in peak season. Come in February when it's gray. Come in August when it's humid. Stay in different neighborhoods. Talk to locals who aren't selling you something. See if the reality matches your imagination.
And if you decide to make the leap? Reach out. I remember what it's like to start over in a new place. I'm happy to share the real stories, recommend neighborhoods, or just grab coffee and talk about what you're looking for.