Your Gay Friend's Perfect Asheville Weekend
The insider itinerary I actually use when my queer friends visit
Listen, I love you, but if one more person asks me "what's there to do in Asheville?" I'm going to lose it. So here it is: the actual weekend plan I use when my gay friends visit. Not the tourist nonsense. Not the straight bachelorette party circuit. The real Asheville gay agenda.
Save this. Share this. Stop texting me at 11 PM asking where to go.
Friday: Arrival & Immersion
3 PM - Check In & Decompress
Skip the downtown hotels full of bachelor parties. You want:
- The Radical Hotel (if you're fancy and want walkable gayness)
- Airbnb in West Asheville (peak queer neighborhood vibes)
- The Mountaineer Inn (budget-friendly, surprisingly gay-owned)
5 PM - Mandatory First Stop
Odd's Cafe in West Asheville. Why? Because:
- Gender-neutral bathrooms with aggressive affirming signage
- The barista has pronouns on their name tag
- Everyone looks gay even if they're not
- Coffee so good you'll forgive the wait
- You'll immediately know you're in the right place
Order the lavender latte. Trust me. Sit outside. Watch the parade of alternative humans. This is your welcome to Gay Asheville moment.
7 PM - Dinner That Doesn't Suck
Plant (fully vegan, extremely gay energy, reservations required) or Rosetta's Kitchen (vegetarian, no reservations, ultimate queer hangout, cash only like it's 1995)
Don't ask about meat options. We don't do that here. You're getting tempeh and you're going to Instagram it.
9 PM - Friday Night Reconnaissance
Start at The Odditorium (West Asheville). It's not explicitly gay but it's... you'll see. Weird art, weirder people, a backyard that feels like queer summer camp. If there's a drag show or dance party, you're set. If not, you're still surrounded by your people.
11 PM - The Late Night Choice
Banks Ave Bar if you want to dance (mixed crowd but gay as hell after 11) O.Henry's if you want the actual gay bar experience (dive bar realness) Your Airbnb if you're over 35 (no judgment, the mountains are exhausting)
Saturday: Full Gay Immersion
9 AM - Breakfast Power Move
Biscuit Head but GO EARLY. I'm talking 8:45 AM early. Yes, you're hungover. Don't care. The wait becomes obscene by 10 AM and you need those jam options in your life.
Alternative: Sunny Point Cafe (extremely gay-friendly, better veggie options, also a wait but worth it)
11 AM - Mandatory Mountain Content
Two options depending on your gay subtype:
Outdoorsy Gay: Blue Ridge Parkway to Craggy Gardens (30 minutes, easy hike, Instagram gold)
City Gay Pretending: River Arts District. Walk around, pretend to understand art, buy something from a queer potter, eat at 12 Bones (get the corn pudding, thank me later)
2 PM - Beer Education
"But Dylan, I don't like beer!"
Shut up, you're in Asheville. Go to Burial Beer (aesthetic AF, everyone's queer or queer-adjacent) or Green Man (actually gay-owned, Porter is a treasure).
Get a flight. Pretend to taste notes. Instagram the aesthetic.
4 PM - Shopping Your Sexuality
Downtown Asheville circuit:
- Malaprop's Bookstore: Aggressively progressive, excellent queer section
- Horse + Hero: If you need to look more gay, this is where
- Instant Karma: Crystals and sage because we're those gays now
7 PM - Saturday Night Dinner
Cucina 24 if you got a reservation months ago Chai Pani if you like Indian and don't mind waiting Bull & Beggar if someone else is paying
Or fuck it, get White Duck Taco and eat in the park. We're not fancy.
9 PM - Saturday Night Proper
Check Instagram for the queer party of the night. There's always something:
- Drag at The Odditorium
- Dance party at Banks Ave
- Random queer event at Asheville Music Hall
- House party you'll somehow get invited to
If all else fails: O.Henry's. It's our Cheers. Everyone knows your business.
Sunday: Recovery & Righteousness
10 AM - Farmers Market (Non-Negotiable)
This is church for gay Asheville. Everyone's here. The vegetables are sexual. The bread is spiritual. Get the crepes. Flirt with the mushroom vendor. Buy flowers you'll forget in your car.
12 PM - Choose Your Fighter
Hungover Route: Float the French Broad River (tubes at Mountain Sports), recover
Functional Route: Brunch at Tupelo Honey (tourist trap but the chicken and waffles don't lie) or Over Easy Cafe (local spot, better prices, grumpy service we've learned to love)
2 PM - Final Asheville Stamp
The Biltmore Estate if you're basic and rich ($75 to look at rich people's old house)
North Carolina Arboretum if you're cultured and reasonable ($16 to look at plants)
More brewery hopping if you're honest about who you are
5 PM - Goodbye Ritual
Stop at French Broad Chocolate downtown. Get the liquid truffle. This is your "I went to Asheville" proof. Post it. Tag me. Leave.
The Unwritten Rules
- Everything closes earlier than you think
- Cash is still a thing here
- Everyone knows everyone (act accordingly)
- The weird person talking to you is probably a millionaire or homeless, no in-between
- "It's right near [landmark]" means 25 minutes away
- If someone offers you moonshine, it's rude to decline
- The mountain views are free serotonin, use liberally
Seasonal Adjustments
Spring: Add wildflower hikes, subtract indoor activities Summer: Add river activities, prepare for humidity hair Fall: Add leaf-peeping, add 10,000 tourists, subtract patience Winter: Add layers, subtract half the activities, add more beer
The Secret Spots
I'm trusting you with these:
- The crow & quill for afternoon reading and accidentally meeting your soulmate
- Tiger Bay Cafe for when you need actual good coffee and a break from tourists
- Asheville Pizza & Brewing movie theater for rainy day perfection
- The Block off Biltmore food hall that's accidentally the gayest spot on Sundays
Emergency Gay Support
Lost? Confused? Having a crisis?
- Find the nearest person with colored hair and visible tattoos
- Ask literally any barista for recommendations
- The person at Malaprop's will adopt you
- When in doubt, go to West Asheville
The Truth
This weekend will cost more than you budgeted. You'll drink more than planned. You'll consider moving here. You'll text me about real estate. The mountains will do something to your brain chemistry.
This is all normal.
Welcome to Gay Asheville. We've been expecting you.
Ready to move here? Check out the neighborhoods or my making friends guide. Just visiting? You're doing it right.
Dylan has been perfecting this weekend since 2019 and will judge you if you go to the Tupelo Honey on College Street instead of the one downtown. He's available for real estate tours but not before noon. Find him at GayAsheville.com or holding court at literally any brewery.